What Helps You Face Adversity
We all face adversities which, at times, may make us feel as though we will never be okay again. Developing the skill of resilience is an important step in overcoming difficulties. Resilience is “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress” (American Psychological Association, 2014). By being resilient, you can learn to accept facing an adversity, and benefit from the process. Because adversity and trauma are a common part of life, it is ideal to enhance your resilience before your next stressful life event. In other words the best time to prepare for a crisis is when you are NOT in crisis.
While going through difficult life events, your goal is not to suppress your feelings in an effort to appear stronger. It is important to understand and accept your emotional response to adversity. It can teach you a lot!
It has been shown that under adverse conditions, certain characteristics promote resilience.
Belief Systems
Make meaning of adversity. Normalize and contextualize adversity. It happens to all of us! The “Why me??“ type of bargaining won’t get you too far. Ground yourself by getting out of your head and into the body. Think exercise, yoga, getting a massage. See a crisis as a meaningful, manageable challenge. You got this!
Positive outlook. Hope, optimistic bias. “Courage and encouragement;” affirm strengths and focus on potential. Having a “can do” spirit, mastering the possible, and accepting what cannot be changed.
Transcendence and spirituality. Higher values, purpose, and meaning in life. Envision dreams, new possibilities, creative expression, and social action. Transform through the adversity by learning, changing, and growing.
Organizational Patterns
Flexibility. Be open to change and adapt to fit new challenges. Be stable through disruption with continuity, dependability, and following through. Do what you will say you’ll do and the chaos is instantly diminished.
Connectedness. Supportive, collaborative, and committed with others. Seek reconnection, even reconciliation of damaged relationships. You may have to be the one to make that first step!
Communication/Problem solving
Clarity. Use clear and consistent words and actions. Speak the truth. Open emotional expression. Share your range of feelings. Tolerate differences and have mutual empathy. Take responsibility for your own feelings and behavior without blaming others. Enjoy humor.
Collaborative problem solving. Use brainstorming for resourcefulness. Focus on goals, take steps, build on success, and learn from failure. Be proactive in preparing for future adversities.
These are snippets from the #positivepsychology literature. Easier said than done I know! Work in progress at all times, for all of us. This is not something you have to accomplish by a “deadline“. But by practicing these attributes you can be more prepared the next time it feels like the rug has been pulled from under you.
