Separation anxiety is often thought of as something children outgrow. But many adults experience intense fear when apart from the people they love, worrying constantly that something terrible will happen to them, needing frequent contact, or avoiding travel and time apart. Adult separation anxiety disorder is recognized in the DSM-5 as an anxiety disorder that can occur at any age, and it’s more common than many people think. This guide explains the signs, why it’s often missed, and how it’s treated.
What Is Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder?
Adult separation anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder in which a person feels excessive, persistent fear or distress about separation from people they’re closely attached to, beyond what’s typical for their stage of life. In adults, the focus is often a partner, child, or parent, and symptoms last at least six months.
It’s more common than many realize. The first large epidemiological study, based on the National Comorbidity Survey Replication, estimated lifetime prevalence at 4.1% for childhood separation anxiety disorder and 6.6% for adult separation anxiety disorder. A research protocol summarizing that survey notes a 12-month prevalence of 1.9% in adults.
Estimated lifetime prevalence among U.S. adults in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication.
Signs of Separation Anxiety in Adults
Signs of separation anxiety in adults include excessive worry about harm coming to loved ones, distress when apart or anticipating separation, frequent calling or texting to check on someone, reluctance to travel or sleep away from them, and nightmares or physical symptoms tied to separation.
- Worry: persistent fear that a loved one will be hurt, fall ill, or die.
- Checking: frequent calls, texts, or location checks for reassurance.
- Avoidance: declining trips, work travel, or time apart.
- Distress: intense anxiety, panic, or physical symptoms when separated.
- Sleep: difficulty sleeping alone or nightmares about separation.
Separation anxiety in adults isn't clinginess or weakness. It's a recognized anxiety disorder, and it's treatable.
Why Separation Anxiety Often Starts in Adulthood
Separation anxiety often starts in adulthood rather than continuing from childhood: in the NCS-R, 77.5% of people classified as adult cases had their first onset in adulthood, while about one-third of childhood cases (36.1%) persisted into adult life. Adult onset can follow losses, serious illness, relationship changes, or other life events.
Among adults classified with separation anxiety disorder, the share whose first onset was in adulthood.
As Harvard researchers reported, the findings suggested the disorder is likely much more common in adults than previously recognized, and that diagnostic criteria for adults needed refinement.
Is being apart from loved ones overwhelming?
A thorough evaluation can help. By telehealth across South Carolina and New York.
Separation Anxiety in Relationships
Separation anxiety in relationships can look like needing constant contact with a partner, difficulty with a partner’s independent activities, or fear of abandonment that strains the relationship. It can also center on adult children or aging parents. Partners may feel frustrated, and the person with separation anxiety often feels ashamed.
It’s different from jealousy or control. The core is fear of harm or loss, not distrust. Recognizing that distinction can help couples approach it together, sometimes in joint sessions.
| Normal concern | Separation anxiety disorder | |
|---|---|---|
| Worry | Occasional and proportional | Persistent and excessive |
| Contact | Checking in now and then | Frequent calls or texts for reassurance |
| Time apart | Manageable | Avoided or highly distressing |
| Duration | Tied to specific events | Six months or more |
Separation Anxiety Treatment
Separation anxiety treatment usually centers on cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps people challenge catastrophic predictions, reduce checking and reassurance seeking, and gradually tolerate time apart, and medication such as an SSRI may help, especially when other anxiety or mood conditions are present. Treatment is often paired with care for related conditions.
- Name the fear. Identify who the anxiety centers on and what you fear will happen.
- Track checking. Notice how often you call, text, or check for reassurance.
- Challenge predictions. Work with a therapist to test catastrophic thoughts.
- Practice time apart. Gradually increase time apart while resisting checking.
- Treat related conditions. Address panic, depression, or other anxiety alongside it.
Separation anxiety often occurs with panic disorder, agoraphobia, or depression. Our guides to panic disorder vs panic attacks, agoraphobia, and SSRIs vs SNRIs cover related topics.
Fear of losing the people you love
Constant worry, checking, and avoiding time apart, often hidden out of embarrassment.
Recognition and a clear plan
An evaluation that names separation anxiety and treats it alongside related conditions.
Closeness without constant fear
Relationships that feel secure, with time apart that’s manageable.
Dr. Gabriella Farkas, MD PhD
Board-certified adult psychiatrist with a PhD in neuroscience. Dr. Farkas recognizes anxiety conditions that are often missed in adults and builds plans that fit your relationships.
About Dr. Farkas →When Fear of Losing Loved Ones Needs Help
Get help when fear of losing loved ones or being apart takes up much of your day, strains relationships, or keeps you from work, travel, or activities you’d otherwise enjoy. The NCS-R found most adults with separation anxiety disorder go untreated, even though many receive care for other conditions.
A comprehensive adult psychiatric evaluation can make sure separation anxiety is recognized and treated alongside anything else going on. Our overview of anxiety and depression together covers common overlaps. If you’re having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 in the US.
Key Terms
- Separation anxiety disorder
- An anxiety disorder with excessive fear or distress about separation from close attachment figures.
- Attachment figure
- A person someone feels closely bonded to, such as a partner, parent, or child.
- Reassurance seeking
- Repeatedly checking or asking for confirmation to ease anxiety.
- Adult onset
- A condition that begins in adulthood rather than childhood.
Common Questions About Adult Separation Anxiety
Can adults have separation anxiety disorder?
Yes, adults can have separation anxiety disorder; the DSM-5 recognizes it at any age, and a national survey estimated lifetime prevalence at 6.6% among U.S. adults. It often begins in adulthood. It's frequently missed. It's treatable. An evaluation can help. A psychiatrist can guide next steps. Family support can help too.
What are the signs of separation anxiety in adults?
Signs of separation anxiety in adults include persistent fear that loved ones will be harmed, distress when apart, frequent checking or contact, avoiding travel or time apart, and nightmares about separation. Symptoms last six months or more. They affect daily life. They can strain relationships. Treatment helps. A psychiatrist can guide next steps.
What causes separation anxiety in adults?
Separation anxiety in adults can follow losses, serious illness, relationship changes, or other stressful events, and it can also continue from childhood, although most adult cases begin in adulthood. Genetics may play a role. Other anxiety conditions often co-occur. The cause varies. Treatment works either way. A psychiatrist can guide next steps.
How is adult separation anxiety treated?
Adult separation anxiety is usually treated with cognitive behavioral therapy that reduces checking and builds tolerance for time apart, and medication such as an SSRI may help, especially with other anxiety or mood conditions. Joint sessions can help couples. Progress is gradual. Most people improve. Your psychiatrist can coordinate care.
Is separation anxiety the same as codependency?
Separation anxiety disorder is a recognized anxiety disorder centered on fear of harm or loss when apart, while codependency is an informal term describing relationship patterns; they can overlap but aren't the same. The diagnosis matters for treatment. An evaluation can clarify it. Both can improve. Support helps. A psychiatrist can guide next steps.
How common is adult separation anxiety?
A national survey estimated that 6.6% of U.S. adults have separation anxiety disorder at some point in life and about 1.9% in a given year, and most go untreated. It's more common than many realize. Many people feel ashamed. You're not alone. Help is available. A psychiatrist can guide next steps.
Can I get help for separation anxiety by telehealth?
Yes, Dr. Farkas evaluates and treats adult separation anxiety by secure telehealth for adults in South Carolina and New York, which can make it easier to start care. You'll need a private space. A device with a camera works well. Partners can join with permission. Follow-ups use the same platform.
Closeness without constant fear.
Recognition and treatment for an often-missed condition.
Sources
- Shear K, et al. “Prevalence and correlates of estimated DSM-IV child and adult separation anxiety disorder in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication.” American Journal of Psychiatry, 2006;163(6):1074–1083. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16741209/
- Harvard Medical School, National Comorbidity Survey. “Prevalence and correlates of estimated DSM-IV child and adult separation anxiety disorder (publication summary).” Harvard Medical School. https://hcp.hms.harvard.edu/publication/prevalence-and-correlates-estimated-dsm-iv-child-and-adult-separation-anxiety-disorder
- ClinicalTrials.gov. “Vilazodone for Separation Anxiety Disorder (study protocol, NCT01999920).” ClinicalTrials.gov. https://cdn.clinicaltrials.gov/large-docs/20/NCT01999920/Prot_002.pdf
Educational content only. This article does not constitute medical advice and does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call 911. Treatment decisions should be made with a qualified clinician familiar with your circumstances. Last reviewed: September 2026.